The man from Unkle

Uh-oh! You know when you're old when one of the new pre-pubescent girl hearthrob is younger than you. Of the two winners of Pop Idol(they didn't have one winner - everyone's a winner! Apparently) by the name 'Gareth' is 17 - but a whole 6 months younger than I. I could mention gimps like Aaron Carter and L'il Bow Wow, but they sunk faster than a child without armbands. And I knew for certain I could beat them up.

Why Bird?

Wednesday, another uneventful day(unless I get sucked into some portal). So now might be the perfect time to think about...my future!

Yesterday, I received a right earful from my dad, as I was merely strolling to a University placement, and would continue to stroll from there on. My parents currently resent(as I'm pretty sure) me taking Psychology rather than Maths at University level. I am constantly asked 'What do hope to achieve with a Psychology degree?', with the reply being 'A Psychology related job'. Good answer, was what I thought. Maybe not. I should really tell them that I plan to probably start training for a career in wrestling with Ray, and because of my rose-tinted spectacles, I believe that we have a gimmick already planned for us. When was the last time you saw English Twins wrestling?

OK, that may be a little ludicrous. But the ideal would be accepted if my older brother becomes a well-known DJ, as I reckon he could become quite popular. I wouldn't know if he'd want that; he would probably be an underground type-guy. Alright, so wrestling may not be an option - how about a rockstar? Granted, my musical instrument playing knowledge is nil, but I have a few ideas I want to try. I will get that instrument.

What other job? Animation critic? I would hope to actually start some sort of mature animation channel when I am older(one that runs in conjunction with another channel, so it won't die quickly). That would be a true reason to stay in all day. Internet animations, freelance animators, beginner's projects - so many ideas could work!

Well, I want to do something other than 'Office Job'. What a depressing thought.

Trip over

Well, after using the powers of psychology, I managed to swap a less-than-10-days old games in Game, without a receipt and saving a fiver in the process. Super. Well, I got Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3. Nothing new, but it rocks! I could watch Rodney Mullen's video 100 times and never get bored. He makes Tony look like a pile o' puke. Old School wins outright!

Salutes to you

Go Canada! After drubbing America in Ice Hockey 5-2, I now know that they won't make a movie out of the result. I thought it was pretty kewl when Rammstein's 'Du Hast' started playing after Canada put there third goal in. Well done. American were beaten.

I also watched half of Jet Li's(I think) 'Drive' yesterday. Worst storyline ever, but the kung-fu was second to none. Makes Neo look like a pansy.

Who has the same name as 'Winston Churchill?' 'Insurance!'

That's it: I will make it a promise to learn an instrument before 2003 starts. I'll do something, somehow.

Thought of the untamed juice

Fancy teeth is some really kewl animation on the internet. I had great thoughts of doing my own animation web site today, but I faced some restrictions. These included a lack of staff - I'd probably need some people from all over the world to help fill in the 'site. I'd call it 'Animatron', and it would talk about as many animations as I could think of, which is an awful lot.

You...you...

Well, it happened. As soon as everybody else left the house, I just had to connect the stereo+PS2+TV to record some tunes. Some awful playings of Lammy's guitar and some excellent sounds from the sound test on Klonoa 2. But nothing from the Sega Saturn sadly. No AV thing. Oh, all these stupid confusing wires just mess wit' mah head. I could look on the 'net, but there's usually some idiot who can't spell(i.e search for 'Unkle' and you'll get loads of stupid kids with 'Unkle Cracker').

Curiousity Cloned the Cat

Woo! Man, my ears are on fire at the moment(not literally, of course). Having recently had Raymond to buy 'FFVII', 'Parappa the Rapper' and 'Um Jammer Lammy', I must say how excellent the tunes are! First, FFVII has 'the classics' (obvious ones include the Boss music and Chocobo fights) that are impossible NOT to hum to. Parappa has some of the coolest raps, especially 'the toilet rap', involving Parappa rapping to get to the front of the long queue. Lammy has some of the greatest riffs to play along to, with her jamming along to some insane pilot in heavy rock mode. Then there's my recently bought Unkle CD, which hones some of the best of British(including Thom Yorke, Badly Drawn Boy and DJ Shadow - and it's unique). Nice sounds.

Try this, it might not kill

Recently, I went to some Japanese pen pal site to get information about Japanese lifestyles and all that. Or it's really an excuse to find out what Music is cool in the country. Now, I'm flooded with many girls wishing to be my friend(yes, an old adage of how foreigners dig the British accent - sweet). Many of them, I'm quite sure, just learn their English from some Translation web site(or something similar). I sent an e-mail, replying to what instruments I'd like to play. I wrote 'I would like to learn something' and got the reply 'Can you play the something?' Man, that's just too cute to hurt.

Do you know what? No

Man, it's odd. I go out, see various things that I know I'll never see again, and I don't buy them. For those who're concerned, I got:
-Psyence Fiction by Unkle, £14.50(discounted)
-10 cassette Tapes, £3.50(discounted)
-Another copy of Christmas NiGHTS, a quid(!!!!, thinks those who read)

Of course, that last one will be given to those concerned. Since I already know someone, may it be a belated birthday present.

How to spend that time

Yes, being locked out the house was an annoying thing. To pass the time, I did a variety of things to pass the time:
-Do some of my coursework. I came home early with the sole reason to finish off the coursework due for the next day. That lasted about half an hour, as it was very difficult to analyse articles that were blowing all over the place.
-'Martial Arts'. The only martial arts that I attempt are copied from various films watched/games played. I also picked up a broom and pretended to be Kilik. I mastered one move. That lasted about 10 minutes.
-Flexibility. I attempted to stick my legs in the splits position, but I only got so far. It hurt, but I will reach that position that makes the other people say 'Oooh!'. I also tried to do some flips, attempting a backflip but bottling out at the last second, various cartwheels, attempted one-handed cartwheels and some handless action rolls. Super. That lasted 5 minutes.
-Football. I spotted a football, and thought 'Why not?' Until I realised that the grass was really long and couldn't do much but kick the ball pretty hard. That lasted 5 minutes.
-Play GBC, with copy of MGS. I realised how unstealthy I was after getting caught many times, and just wasn't in the mood for 'playing it cool'. About 5 minutes.
-Skateboarding. Because my board had snapped, I used my little brother's. Hey! It doesn't turn. At all. I attempted an ollie, but realised I was making too much noise. 5 minutes.

The rest of the time was spent moaning about not having a key, observing the actions of birds that flew into the garden, sneaking up on the fat cat from next door and trying to meditate.

Stop it! It's awful!

After waiting in the garden of my hous for 105 minutes for parents to return(no key, damnit), I got in and, for some reason, decided to watch the cartoon adaptation of 'The Mummy'. Oh man. What a load of arse. Cliché after cliché being churned out, especially in the face of danger. Stupid assumption that 'all English people come from the south' and 'all English people speak with a received pronounciation' and(get this) 'Americans can do English accents. No, no, no, no, Jesus Christ. Might I also point out that the main heroes are American and the English people can't fight, for some reason. Good priorities they got, especially since they've got weaker livers. And the cartoon was crap, in general.

Hay is good

Well, soon I'll be embarking on 'the journey to Bangor', but I don't know what greatness will come out of visiting my brother in Uni. I will be able to nick his Unkle CD, now that's it's pretty hard to get hold of AND it's one of the best albums I have ever heard. Now, if I could get his decks...

Flippin' people

Well, I don't know if there's a lesson here but...having just watched the luge-thingie on Winter Olympics, some woman from some developing country just flipped over half-way, then she just slid down the path for a good while. It looked damn painful, but no way did she look like she could do the task.

Finally

A letter, which reeked of evil, or something so boring it was evil, arrived for me. What was it? That cheque for £16 and 6 pennys! Well, at least I can pay a bit of my AS-Level resits.

Since I was bored

Should be doing English Coursework, but I canna be arsed. More test results:

Take the "Which Nationality Are You?" test at OuchCryManson Made by: and User=ecology>

What Pattern Are You?


Strawberry: 40/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 40/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 10/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen and Aaron!

Can't get enough of that wonderful stuff? You betcha, mister!

Hats off, hats on

Well done CBBC! You actually got some o' dat sense into you. OK, so they're on at an unhealthily early time from 7:00AM to 7:45AM, but by putting on 'The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show' and Monster Rancher, I might actually congratulate the lack of old, crappy cartoons by Joeseph Hanna and William Barbera. Well done. However...

CBBC is getting not one, but two new channels. Courtesy of you and me, apparently. 'Apparently' because these are funded by the tax payer. What goes on these channels? Blue Peter, something else involving those lackwits who run 'The Saturday Show' and all the cartoons that appear on that. Repeated endlessly, every day, for the whole week. I don't care for one of the channels; the audience isn't even supposed to be able to speak properly yet. They wasted the potentially good new channel with the same things that appear on our channel already. No X-Men. No Spiderman, or Ren & Stimpy, or Moomin etc., just some of the same crap they're already showing. And they think I'm gonna pay for a license(which'll probably be about £150 by the time I get there) to watch crap?!? For crying out loud, one week after 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air' had finished, they decided to show the whole thing all over again. Idiots.

The End

Well, Ray found the website of all websites. It has links to as many online tests as you really care about, here.





Which British Band Are You?


I am 70% British, just like
Michael Caine
Though you know your way around London you are most likely to retire to the West Coast of the USA.

Take the Brit Quiz at
www.darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm
Quiz written by Daz

Twisted

In some sort of ironic thing, Liverpool beat Ipswich 6-0, which is there largest away win for 11 years. The shocking thing is that this is the score predicted by solid_ichelma for Everton to win. For the rivals to grab that scoreline is...well, odd. We gonna smash Man Utd. into the ground!

Getting money is bloody difficult

Having recently realised that I haven't received my tax back(I'm owed £16 - not much, but it'll get me something) from those bitches at the tax office have forgotten a pennyless 17 year-old. Anyway, whilst searching for the thing that I'll probably need as proof to get my money again, I found a huge booklet regarding 'getting money on taxes'. Loads of stupid rules. Aaagh! All I was told is that I gotta earn at least £4,500 before paying any tax. I asked for my money back in December, for gawd's sake.

Gimme a job, all you plebs. And a car license, with a taxed car. That tax office has a whiff of evil.

Now I'm a break it down in the Unkle style

As I write this, I find myself with the most freedom I have ever had on the internet. And I'm bored. Forums are really annoying, because the Sega World Weekly forum is falling to tatters, and only a handful of people ever get to read your comments. And as the days go by, people pour their hearts out with all their poetry they produce, whilst I'm thinking that more and more things are becoming cliched. I'm cliched. You are. Run over there, you piece of noiseless wonders. I'm cliched? Flip, that's saying something. Well, it's probably just human behaviour. Never mind. I thought conformity was wrong.

Mmm. Lunchy-Munchies

After a seemingly dull visit to town, I went to college. Then I did some very important work for about 10 minutes, barely done a thing to it(coursework). So, I decided to join Extreme! Wyl, and two first year girls on a trip to Tesco. After various 'nutcrackers' that Wyl did on his Unicycle, we eventually got to Tesco in 15 minutes. Well, I bought a spicy sausage + 4 bakewell tarts + can o' Dr Pepper + can o' Tango. Cost = £2.21, I paid £1.20. How? Well, it seemed like some normal 'accident' of handing back more change, but it was a quick slip of change that did it. As I paid for Wyl's stuff(he handed me the exact change of £1.05), I paid for mine with a fiver. Because I was constantly messing around with the pound coin that was handed to me, the woman got confused and gave me money. I'm going to try that again...

Now I should try and destroy Valentine's Day, for the money-making day it is. That, or just bring in 'Love Day'.

Funkologically Dieting Man

Wow, man! I found a truly groovy website which contains various tags by people from all over. UKGraffiti is the name. So here is some sort of banner:

It was me

Well...a disgruntled guy came in wondering where the only copy of Parappa the Rappa went. Well...Ray did it. OK, I hid it in pile in the shop, a pile which only Ray would know where to look and then he purchased the bounty of cool for £4. The best level has to be the one were Parappa is absolutely desperate for the loo...hilarious rapping goin' down, my homies. OK, so it is, to quote PlayNation mag, 'More CITV than NWA', but it's truly excellent if you can get Master Onion breakdancing. Nice.

Brown eggs and lamb

Must search the internet...internet getting faster...getting bored quicker...fghhn!

It's just a thought, but I'm actually seeing the many problems with the internet becoming faster everywhere else than Britain. Well, people get to see information quicker, so there is less anger produced from waiting for them pages. But then, there's the anger of thinking about what to go on. Which is a problem if you're a really dull person with no ambition whatsever. So what else is there if the internet is getting faster? There's the obvious...making laws.

All these bigwigs will soon see the marvel of the internet, and realise that there is far too much free information for the public. Why, wihtout paying, we could probably master many martial arts, learn how to draw anime like professionals and become a ninja. Of course, it also tells us that we can make car bombs, get money from telephone boxes and eventually rig the Oscars. Which is a problem, apparently.

So, with these bigwigs we will get stupid laws on the internet. People will break them, but they would be found out eventually. It'll probably be as pathetic as teletext. The end. Of the 'net. What a shame!

Funky Monks

I met old accomplice Danny Beaver today, who said that he quit in spite of me. I gave that a thumbs up, although now the place has a new boss who is a right bitch.
"I was getting bored too, Adam. I quit too." he said, relatively cheerfully.
"But Dan, I was fired!" I said.
"Oh. How'd that happen?"
"I asked for a drink."
"Oh. Shit. Well, on Saturday, I had a really bad day..."
It turned out that he had been involved in some sort of accident in a car on the coastal road. In what seemed like a right GTAIII moment, the car managed to end up on it's roof with five others in it. Although no-one was hurt, I actually spoke to two of the people on Saturday in Liverpool, right before the accident. Which was odd. He was also jobless, which was 'sort of' comforting.

Alright, guv

Well, that's a good thought out topic. Animation World News has an article about live action versions of 'your favourite cartoons'. It's alright to be doing this with more modern cartoons, like the ones which have character and emotion, but to do a film on something like Scooby Doo Doo is quite an odd idea. Creating emotion out of ideals is not a good idea. You weren't gonna do that, were you?

Woah!

Man, that Virtua Fighter 4 is THE SHIT!!! It's the dog's bollocks! What a fantastic fighting game! I only played the game for a few minutes in the shop, but it was certainly worthy of my attention. And it comes out in Europe in June, apparently. Bastards. But what a good game. Tekken looks like a bag of wank compared.