Olympics 2004

Right, the Olympics usually do bore us, with the plain old events performed by really dull athletes. How about new events:
Skateboarding
Rocket-Sled Racing
Wheelbarrow racing
Sack Race
Spoon an' Potato
5 legged race
Toss the Midget
Caber Toss
The 'Cover the court before it gets wet' event (team game)
Jockey Sprints, 50m and 100m
Welly Toss
Musical Chairs
Musical Statues
Musical Statues with 'performance enhancing drugs' version
Mixing decks competition
Colouring in round
Pillow Fight on poles
Anything from 'Gladiators'
Spam eating competition
Frisbee competition
Screaming competition
and so forth.

Sticking the word 'Olympic' in front of any of these instantly elevates it to a great height indeed. Groovy.

What's... happening to me?!?

I found myself thouroughly enjoying Daft Punk's new album Discovery. Somehow. About 4 years ago, when I was into similar stuff of today, I liked Metallica, Nirvana, Beastie Boys and other similar stuff. Only now, Daft Punk (that's dance) has tickled my fancy. Get jiggy wit' it! Aaaagh! Is my music taste evolving/maturing? I don't wanna end up like my older brother; he does drugs and likes hardcore (and a million other things). Hell, next thing I'll be tellin' me is that I like Jazz. It'll never happen - will it??

Irritation!

If anyone's been on a chat page with myself or Ray(twin), it would be common for either of us to vent anger at very poor grammer. I draw the line at abbreviations, as it does save time. However, 'u', 'r','gr8' etc are just fucking irritating! It's even worse when the typist uses 'Da bomb' and 'wassup' - can these bods type/speak some goddamn real English? I bet they'd end up with dead-end jobs if they continue in that irritating way. For shame!

Of course, it will still happen. Call me old-fashioned if you will, but these shorter words are destroying the English language! They express little emotion etc., where each of the words have a million-and-one expressions. D'oh. An example would be instead of someone writing 'lol', the person (like I) may write 'Guffaw', 'Har-de-har' and other laughing words. There.

Cartoon Guide.

Right, forget about doing a guide to all cartoons listed because I can't give enough info to justify most of them. So I'll just do ones that I saw many episodes of, rather than blag a lot and hope.

Beavis & Butthead

Beavis & Butthead is genuine cool. It showed two stupid kids, who presumably don't have parents spending most of their day in front of the TV, with the Music Video part being top knockers. The videos didn't contain these sections. D'oh.



For the music video section, one of the duo (usually Butthead) would make some piss-funny statement that really worked well. Anyway, some memorable episodes (without names, guh) include Beavis & Butthead in woodwork, with Beavis losing a finger (nearly), one where Beavis thinks he's pregnant and one where they have their 'thingies' extended. Groovy. This recieves a 9/10. Close, but no cigar.

Yowsers!

I've been looking for a job for ages, then three opportunities come along at once; one of them being definate! That's for CaterForce, who go to major events all year, paying reasonably but requiring heavy fitness. Then there's a bakery Job and a Tomoto picking job, paying up to £5.50 an hour. Amazin'!

Feck!

My pictures aren't working! The sites still exist, I followed instructions given; why?

Cartoon Guide.

Moomin

Holy hell! No websites up for this hippo-adventure cartoon? Shocking! Anyway...
Moomin is a cartoon set in a place called 'Moomin Valley' (heck, I found it unfair for a place to be named after them; there are other residents, though the houses are never seen), which is probably set about 1950s on some distant planet. I think. They are supposed to 'Moomintrolls', at least according to the books.



Here is a picture of Moomin from the Book. It looks odd. Many of the adventures these few get up to are usually strange, including Moominmamma actually liking housework, whilst men are useless at it (like Moominpappa).



Hell, Moomin was a bit sappy, but it is cool, and was made in the 80s. The books were made in the 1970s. I'd give this a smacking 8/10, as the stories may have sometimes lacked.

Nth Post of the day

Nothing to do with Zool, but man, I am bored today. I finally found another ROM website which enables me to Goeman 3. It may be illegal, but what are the chances of me getting a copy? About as likely to get Shining Force III. Hey, monkey steals the drum have a great website for me to wallow time in.

Otherwise, buh.

A wrestling review.

Here is some review of the wrestling scene:

It has changed dramatically over the years. There are those that have said it has become more dangerous, although I think quite the opposite. The amazing matches, like TLC and cage matches, have shown wrestlers doing amazing things, jumping from incredible heights and causing serious damage. However, in recent years, many things have had to be stopped; there has not been anymore casket matches since Shawn Michaels screwed up a fall onto the casket, any moves involving placing the head hard into the ground have been stopped and the hell-in-a-cell has become a joke from Armegeddon 2000.

What's with the moves being stopped, y'say? Well, everyone knows that these moves have not been performed on a regular basis:
- Piledriver and variations (Tombstone, Pulling Piledriver)
- Double-Arm DDT
- Proper DDT
- Snowplow
- Michinoku Driver
- Variations.

It seems HHH's pedigree has survived this because his knees give lots of support to the head (although when Ray did it on Chris, it hurt him), even though Hunter did it wrong at Summerslam 2000 on Kurt Angle, knocking him out.

The Hell-in-a-Cell became crap - in KOTR '98, the Undertaker threw Mankind off the cell onto a table, injuring him quite well (and if that wasn't enough, he chokeslamed Mankind through the cage). In Armegeddon 2000, Rikishi was pushed off onto a nice, soft, padded pile of sawdust (conveniently placed, of course). There should be a 4-way tornado tag of the Hardyz, the Dudleys, Edge & Christian and Jericho & Benoit to salvage it.

Cheers!

Wowzers! Thanks to anyone who reads this. Just somethings have to be explained in this world, but this isn't going to be read by as many people who read wwf.com, but it may get somewhere someday. Hell, time to list ways of getting popular in a good way (as well as being able to be included in a game):

1) Become a wrestler with friend. Because I'm British, I have a high chance of good times in wrestling, although there are no wrestling dojos in Britain. I think. Hell, look at Davey Boy Smith (British Bulldog; an amazing 15 year career) and William Regal. They're from the North-West too; groovy!
2) Become a good extreme sports guy; you get respect for doing something amazing.
3) Become an original TV personality.
4) Combine 2) and 3) like guys in RAD to win uber-respect.
5) Be a good tennis player for England. Is it hard?
6) Become an outstaning music-type-person who doesn't decide to sell out (Madonna, you whore).
Finally, don't be a player in a team game, like football - it's too popular.

Thanks to solid ichelma for actually visiting the site.

Science Fiction

Like many, I like Sci-Fi a lot. Hell, if I make it to retirement, I'll probably spend all day watching movies/old WWF videos/cartoons of great or possibly learning things. Enough of the future 'commitments', focus on the present. Sci-fi things are ever changing. In the sixties they were heavily likely to be B-Movies, because of their tackiness. They didn't explain much; they didn't need to. People didn't question things much then.

Like the moon landing.

So, things were pretty simplistic with yer photon guns and hyper-stellar flying monkbabies. No-one does that now, unless it's intentional (like 'Mars Attacks!') or just strange (like 'Battlefield Earth, eee). Of course, with Sci-fi films coming in greater numbers, there has to be more explanation. Most of the stuff said doesn't make a load of sense to people; groovy! No questions asked. More things must be explained each time, like in 'The Matrix' (although there are still plenty of mistakes, according to movie-mistakes.com). Hell, Evolution didn't explain everything, but a lot of it came to knowledge gained in GCSE science classes. Like Darwin's Theory of evolution. Duh.

Hell, as technology advance and people get smarter, Sci-fi films will get harder to write all the time.

Holy Mollocks!

The Dreamcast has been starved. At the weekend of 22/6/01 to following day, 4 games get released - 2 of which I want, 1 of which I seriously want. Buttocks.

'It's a suable offense, mate' - just like everything else...

Right, this comes in light of that greedy sonovabitch who is suing X amounts of companies for $5 billion. Man, no longer will this person have companionship; if he succeeds he will taunted as a weak-minded sibling; if he fails, he will be cast for trying to get that amount of money. Anybody knows this guy has no soul. With the suing coming in light of that mass-murder in a school, it's hardly likely the affected will be blood thirsty. What is that git going to do with that money? Support his ailing drug habit? Ha.

So, it is time to right about suing! South Park did an episode on it; it shows that people will sue anyone for anything. For no reason. Is law not detailed enough (as if it isn't already; it even takes 100+pages to describe the rule of offside in football!), or are people getting smarter? More exploitative? More capitalist? Whatever the case, it sure is a soul-burning method of easy money. Here's some easy money tips:

1) Look on totse.com for 'stuff'.
2) Go on 'Midday Money' on 'This/Every Morning'.
3) Go on 'Catchphrase'; you also get the bonus of prizes & holiday.
4) Go on Wheel of Fortune', with similar outcome of 3) excluding holiday but with added bonus of dumb contestants.
5) Try to get on 'WWTBAM?'; try talking to Chris Tarrant like 'Shakey Hand Man' of 'Banzai'.
6) Write crap pop songs and sell them to heavily hyped up pop groups.
7) Think up more!

Go, don't do job, and succeed!

Cartoon Guide.
I will do cartoons that I listed, bloke.

Two Stupid Dogs

This is a cartoon that came about during the many new Hanna-Barbara cartoons during the 90s (regardless of the deceased not actually doing the cartoons). Two Stupid Dogs involved two stupid dogs – one with v. high thyroid levels, with the other having v. low thyroid levels. The hyperactive one was not able to get his brain working at correct times, whilst the other ‘couldn’t be arsed’. It also featured a shouty girl whose eyes were astray and was ‘cute’.

It did see a much needed revival of the über-cool Secret Squirrel, renamed ‘Super Secret Secret Squirrel’. The added ‘secret’ made it better. It made the sixties version look like a bag of shite. The mole was always on the bad end of the stick; probably racist towards Moroccans, but no one generally noticed/cared/looked.

It was a reasonable cartoon; it gets a notable 7/10, let down by a lack of good story lines for the ‘Two Stupid Dogs’ section. How a sub-section betters the main part is beyond me.

Conspiracy.

The moon landing was bullshit! At least that is what Channel 5 will have me believe, damnit. It seems that it is a difficult task to land on the moon, the shadows aren't parellel et cetera. How educating. There are also ways of many action movies making me believe that the police are too stupid/incompetent/untrustworthy, so it would be best never to believe them.

Hell, so must the recent news articles. Justice is never properly served, which proves the current judiciary system completely flawed. How nice. It would also be a lifetime ambition (as well as attempting to bother to get to the right step of becoming a skateboarder/band guy/wrestler) to get into Area 51. It has to exist, although it would seem strange for all alien spacecrafts to land around the US. Maybe because it is so well lit by president arsehole Bush. I must get into Area 51! Oh yes, I must. Some day.

Short Cartoon list

Searching Yahoo for 'cartoons' here is a list of cartoons of A-Z chosen upon greatness (I have no Sky TV, so exclude nearly all anime/manga cartoons).

2 Stupid Dogs
Addams Family/Adventures of Batman & Robin
Batman Beyond/Beavis & Butthead
Celebrity Deathmatch
Daria/Digimon/Dangermouse/Dilbert(all good)
Extreme Ghostbusters
Family Guy/Freakazoid!/Futurama
God, the Devil and Bob
He-man/Henry's Cat
Inspector Gadget
Johny Bravo/Johny Quest(No websites for 'Jayce & the Wheeled Warriors?)
King of the Hill
Loony Toons(only reasonable 'L' cartoon there)
Magic Roundabout/MiB/Mr Benn
New Batman/Superman (only one there, really)
Olive, the other reindeer(again)
Pinky & the Brain/Pokemon/Powerpuff girls
Quack Pack (Donald Duck)
Real Ghostbuster/Ren & Stimpy/Rocko's Modern Life
Sam & Max/Samurai Pizza Cats/Scooby Doo/Simpsons/South Park/Spider-Man
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/The Tick/Tom & Jerry/Transformers/Trapdoor
Ulysses 31
Voltron (again)
Wilo the Wisp
X-Men/X-men Evolution
Yogi Bear
What? No Z? Aaaaaaggghhhh...

Well, there are loads more besides this. I really need to know who created 'MiB' and 'Roswell Conspiracies' - they are one of the best none-Anime artists I know of; it'd be great if they could release that thing that was shown on BBC2 in the early nineties on TV again. Hell, we need a Terrestrial channel dedicated to cartoons!

Television.

Television, or renowned as TV, has one helluva powerful effect - it even induces dumbass parents to say that TV is a nanny for the young. My, we may as well burn these fuckups before they are responsible for another High School massacre. Hey, it's even given me some views and thoughts.

OK, being a Terrestrial UK TV watcher, my viewing is far more limited to that of a Sky or Cable watcher. How I envy, although I will then have nothing to envy if I had Sky. Guh. Anyway, I watch a lot of crap that is broadcast on C5, excluding porn, because I wouldn't stoop so low. There are a lot of Sci-fi-esque programmes, like 'unexplained mysteries' (I am a right sucker for that crap). On one of many similar programmes, it involves Alien sightings that are denied by the military and local police, obviously. Just like a movie.

Another thing is of films, were there is a heinously evil bad guy, who somehow has links with all police but the main guys. This bad guy may also be able to assume absolutely everything. Which sucks. Why, if they are so smart, wasting time with crime? Hell, they could probably get money in an easier, capitalist state. If he could assume everything, why doesn't he play the stock market? Imbecile.

With this 'horror' being shown, I conclude, after many of these piles o' crap TV programmes:
-The Police can never be trusted.
-Surprise the bad guy in the most unlikely way, like 'machine gun arm' or something.
-The heads of the military forces are oh so stupid. They haven't gripped any power of assumption.

Twins

I am a twin. To many, this is an opportunity, to others, they may see one as inferior. Hell, it's competitve if anything at all. What with another set of twins in the house, the competition levels and argument that occurs is probably 4 times the amount found in other homes. Which isn't great. So, it comes a time when it is to announce the pros and cons of twins.

Pros include:
-Socialising is so much easier.
-Similar tastes mean easier group activities.
-Insults mean little among each other.
-One can be around for other.

Cons include:
-Go out less.
-One is superior no matter what, as I have no medical problems and my brother has many.
-There is an evil twin.
-Ray's(twin) a moany dick.

Gee, I would really hate to be a triplet, or quadruplet, or even a nonaget (or 9 twin things). The competition can be too great really. Look at Alvin and the Chipmunks! Gee-sus.

Clichés

It would be right to make the claim that everything in the world is clichéd. Whatever that means. Probably it’s something to do with past events and fashions, as well as detailed overviews into trends and such. Take twins for example (something of my nature); ‘twould be clichéd to be similar in as many ways as possible, to wear the same clothes, to act quite similar.
It would also be clichéd to be completely opposite to each other, so people can also define the people as twins. Confused? I know I should be! It’s probably more realistic to make the quip that clichéd means prediction. Either that or it gets to be one of the most irritating words of all time.

Drugs

I ponder it a lot but it's something I will try to never touch with a pole. I don't see drugs as useful; or maybe only tobacco, alcohol and illegal substances. Why? I haven't started, therefore I won't finish. I see those older than me feeling dorry for the decision early on in their life. Hard cheese. People start drugs through conformity, peer pressure or curiousity. Ignorance worked for me. It saves a lot of money, too.

It only works then/at that moment/in that place.

Right, I have seen a lot of movies. Quite frankly, British movies are usually bollicks, with these being nothing much at all. Anyway, a joke appears in 'Baseketball', a joke involving someone's drunken smell is made, 'He smells like Christian Slater'. Who? As a Brit, it doesn't work. There are a lot of examples that I cannot remember; I thank my memory for enabling thoughts of America culture being relevant. I have to learn things to actually make sense of them! What does that say? Hell, if anyones seriously guilty of all these crimes it just has to be Matt Groening's addition of unknowns in later episodes of 'The Simpsons'.

Next is time things. Yes, your average hip-hopster will go around dissing their rivals. Alright for now, but in 50 years what the hell will it mean? A history lesson, like looking at old political pictures. Hilarious. But it's stupid.

Stop that, y'fool.