I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potato

Yup. Something to think about whilst sitting on the ol' Gary Glitter, 'twas: is there an art in not-quite grasping the English Language? I mean, it is a difficult language to learn. But, is there a level between one language and ours? When playing that Zero game for the GBA, they constantly say 'retire', probably in reference to destroy. Now I know that's gotta be old lingo, but do our overseas people? There's some weird line that's probably already been drawn. I'd call it an art, it's that cool.

Waterworld

In a relatively event filled weekend, a relatively hilariously event occured: whilst attempting to study in my room, which is pretty difficult, a loud sawing can be heard from the bathroom. "Bloody hell..." I said, before being interrupted by my dad(who very rarely swears): "SHIT!! I've just sawn through the water pipe!!". Everyone panicked, but I found it pretty hilarious, regardless of having a wet kitchen. Ho-hum. I'm also hopin' to get a job at Andy's Records, regardless of never getting anything from there. That'd be pretty sweet, considering how empty the place is. Fer-lip.

Do the wash!

Bored for the weekend, again. Looks like revision and drawing could be at hand. For inspiration, blindartist.com is a website(obviously) about a blind lady who learned to paint after she turned blind. Considering how good they are, something needs to be done by I. Reminds of a really good glockenspiel woman I saw on some programme once who was deaf and played very well. Goes to show some devoted out there, doesn't it?

Raise the curtain, you, you...daft young ragamuffin!

Oh, 'pur-leeez'. You make me quoff with a dullingness that has yet to be found, I think. For some reason, I decided to start buying Edge(regardless of it's pure bias towards Halo), but that's not what is pissing me off. It's the style. It's irritating. No explanation marks! No ANGRY, SCREAMY, SHOUTY PARTS!! Just minimalism. Ffff, for this gets on my nerves. No, your shiny 'special' covers, your £4 (exactly, unless you don't live in Britain) and your reviews which think they're smart. Egads, for it seems so dull. The problem I have with these reviews is how they're presented. In some magazines, you may feel that 'this is our opinion, so if you don't believe it, clear off'. In Edge, they make you feel 'our reviews are the pinnacle, they are right and they reflect everyone's thoughts'. Then they shut up, ignoring the review forever. It's nothing. It's not 'with it', it's not that special. It is middle class. And the middle classes reek of piss. I'm still going to probably continue buying the thing, only because 'the cover looked nice'. Yes, I'm a sucker, you're a sucker, everybody's a sucker.

The day's news

In HMV, they have a sale on. I was going to buy 'Ghost in the Shell' for £10, but bought 'The Evil Dead' instead. I haven't watched it yet. Do y'see how innovative this post is/was/will be?

The Problem is with kids today, is that...all they think about is gettin' laid

Spending a lonely lunchtime in the Bluecoat garden is...not right. I'm sure the purpose of the area is to admire the plants, the trees 'n' such. However, sitting at the bench nearest to the current exhibition, I could hear Zombie-like groanings that eventually really bore. Fff. At the moment, I'm not sure when I'm supposed to look forward to. I know December 20 is a good date since I'll be out of Uni 'til late January, but there's also the Cult Television festival held right hera in Southport, nearing the end of October. Speaking of which, I demand more people across the country celebrate Hallowe'en rather than Bonfire Night. It's just not...Catholic.

"Spooooooon!"

I feel great. I don't know why, since I've barely read any books, I've got some photocopying t'do tomorrow and probably some coursework(eventually). Well, I'm jest feeling nostalgic. Received some Æon Flux vids this morn, and from the one video I have seen, it confused the ears off-a-me. But it was good, I assure you. I've been listening to Dinosaur Jr. and Smashing Pumpkins(smiling politely). I wish it was 1994. Anyway, I spoke to a guy who I've seen loads of times but I still don't know his name, who spends his days doing art at Southport College and painting things. We spoke of memories past...of animations, of course. Since he remembers 'The Tick', he would deserve a place in some sort of hall of cool. Like me.

Thrash Jazz

Now that my days are spent constantly trying to keep on some sort of edge, there doesn't seem to be time to do 'stuff'. University demands are quite...demanding, quite obviously. Of course, the lessons are still pretty pointless, and I just don't think that the teachers are as good as in sixth form. And they didn't cost £1,100(£30 of which was paid by Sefton Council - how helpful). When we were told today that we had our first piece of coursework in for the week of 30/09, we asked, but the response was so vague it confused. "As long as it's on Attitudes and Alcohol." A-Level coursework was far easier. We could make up the results, for one.

Animation Avacado Returns

Channel 4, in there infinite wisdom, decided to put Futurama on again, with an absolute lack of advertising(as they do). By the time of reading, you'll have probably missed it, unless you carefully scanned the television schedule or managed to hear it announced by the announcer-guy on the channel. Anyway, to be briefs - it's a fantastic episode, which, makes barely any sense, but that's the Futurama humour I like. Far more promising than any future episode of The Simpsons.

GetMeOutofThisAirconditionedNightMare

Unfunky monkey. For some reason I decided to head out to Liverpool for arriving at 'my building' at 0900. Which means leaving the house at 0755(too early, for gawd's sake). Get to place, just to look at message board...and find out I have lesson at 1500. D'oh. A trip to the library sees me as very clueless - even moreso when others are getting out a plethora of books and I haven't the faintest of where to begin. Knacker'd, again. I was able to get 'California' by Mr Bungle. Less disturbing than the self-titled piece, I must say. A good description of the music, as described by 'a guy who's band where going to support The Coral, before some argument occured', is 'Thrash Jazz'. Makes sense to me. And the new Edge magazine, although I wish they'd stop bragging about Halo. I also went on some magical, mystery tour - I went to the Bluecoat on some crazy exhibition, which involved some 50-second looping video of some guy twatting his head on a car, and some really bizarre smoke-filled room depicting a coffin. ?

Collect all your belongings, Go, Go, Go!!

Books? What are ye talking 'bout?

Yup, it's the ultimate dial 'm' for emma. Having the read for my course. And, why, may you ask? I don't regularly read! Yes, something I have always had trouble with, being able to fixate myself into a good reading position. It is hard to get comfortable in my house, what with having five other people always around. Yeah, I have read all of the Harry Potter books, but of course, that isn't enough. It just doesn't grab me enough. As was said in Daria(not completely accurate to the programme, but it's along these lines), "Why do I need to read books when television delivers the stories so well?"

Of course, I could take a television watching route for my Psychology course, but I'd barely get anywhere. All there would be is 'Kramer versus Kramer', which isn't about the guy out of Seinfeld, but two psychologists(married) from another time. And I think that's all I know when it comes to 'The idiot box'. I know I've got to become more literate. I gotta believe! Et cetera.

#What do you do when you wake up in the morning?#

Oh no! For I have seen the problem with travelling to and fro regarding University. Of course it's cheaper than living away, but since I'd probably move out as soon as possible(or when people leave the course), this means I cannot commit to other things I may like to; this means no taking up martial arts lessons, or other things which I intended to use my money on. I suppose I'll use the time to revise, then. Filch.

#I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two#

Since it's technically still time off, I'm 'sort of' loafing around my house at the moment. So with this, my mum asked me to visit the local Spar for some 'goods'(it would have sounded dodgy without the asterisks anyway). And in Spar lies a rack of crappy DVDs I looked at for no reason. Hey! An ECW DVD for merely £6! And what a buy 'twas too. For hell's sake, Rhino(now Rhyno in WWE) does a piledriver through a table, which is above a concrete floor. If that ain't extreme, a tombstone piledriver into barbed wire is. Heatwave 2000: was a great event.

In other thoughts, I've had another idea of what-I-could-get-with-my-cash-but-probably-won't...a trampoline! Yes, something rather large to go in the garden and do 'flips and shit' on. Pity it's going to be cold soon, so garden activities, whatever they may include, will not be very good. I also considered getting a drum kit, one which was spotted for £500. I could actually afford both a trampoline and a drum kit, but with little cash to spare. Or a PC, but it wouldn't feel energetic.

Baby, Can You Dig The Light

Sitting for the first time with other new students is a daunting prospect. When all others around you are girls, you can't help but think 'maybe this course isn't suited to me'. But then, the other group with new tutor had only two males in it, so I knew I wouldn't feel completely out-of-place. I do feel a little stupid for merely turning up at that induction then leaving pretty much as soon as 'twas over. I was able to converse with a great girl, but I forget her name. At least the travel was free on the day, so cheers to Ray for lending me his bus pass. Now, can I borrow it for the next three months? I had to go in today merely for having a photograph taken(a 30 second event). Urp. I'll get that pass soon. Meanwhile, my days have been spent in front of Fire Pro Wrestling D, one of the best wrestling games I have ever played. Sure, the graphics aren't that amazing, but the gameplay is first-rate. For moves not in the game, they can be downloaded off the 'net(although each move takes up quite a bit on the VM - the biggest memory move being Tajiri's Tarantula).

And for the day today, have peace.

'Fat Jon the Ample Soul Physician'

For some reason, I went into Probe Records in Liverpool and just bought the Dinosaur Jr. album 'Green Mind'. Perfect for a lazy Sunday. I wish it was 1990 again(and since I would be six, even better). Thank God my older brother had a sense in music early on, so I could now.

Don't ask Jeeves, he's blippin' evil

My, what a poor night at the Krazyhouse. The K1, apparently the hard rock/metal floor, was damned. One of the two sets of speakers had bust, so it was far quieter than usual, and the music played was mostly slow crap that didn't sound right. Pearl Jam clone bands all over. I didn't ask for Creed or Nickelback or whatever other crap tries to copy Eddie Veddar. It was great to hear Pantera's 'Walk' and Faith No More's 'We Care A Lot', but otherwise, lacklustre. The third floor did have a really cool mix of Beastie Boys' 'Intergalactic', to which Joe said "This is really funky!", as Ray and I sung through all the lyrics. We left as soon as Lincoln Perk polluted the airwaves.

Sitting in the toilet

What is this, a parade? Only kidding, of course. Well, it may not be a bad idea going to university from home. Sure, there may be a little less social interaction...but for some odd reason, that's never concerned me. I don't think I'm broken, for it is probably related to the fact that I have had another around me for 18 and a bit years. Anything that deserves discussion has been discussed. Which is a little problem for the jump into the new. "Tell me something I didn't know". The answer, unless it is news concerning another individual, is going to be hard pushed to be new. Or so that's what I already believe. Cold as it may be, there's probably a lot that can be offered to me, as well as what I can offer back. But I am sadly fully unaware of whatever may be.

I also watched Moulin Rouge today. Excellent renditions of 'Like a Virgin'(Madonna), 'Nevermind'(Nirvana) and 'The Show Must Go On', or whatever it was called(Queen). Beautifully stupid.

Pose for the camera, damnit

The Shawn Michaels' pose. The thinker. The monkey. The Beatle. Oh, the so many poses that could be done in front of a camera, merely for the attention. But, of course, why is the attention seeked? Do we all want to secretly be 'big'? Everybody knows that you generally need a gimmick to become 'big'. Which is quite helpful for I, the Gemini. One day, I'll take over the world! Ha ha ha. Actually, no. It's obviously more cooler to be 'underground', so that could be fathomable instead. However, to become underground, you have to be really good at what you do, not relying on a gimmick, which is commonplace for actors and actresses of today. Shame.

Irate? Maybe not now

When at a place of work, I have to sing to songs. Why? Because it helps the day go by quicker. One song that I particularly hate is now worthy again, thanks to the discovery it's lyrics. Nickelback's 'How you remind me':

I never mated as a white man
I couldn't cut it as a porn man's knee-length
Tired of lookin' like a black man
I'm sick of handin' out a senseless beatin'

And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me of what I really am
This is how you remind me of what I Steely Danned

It's not like you to play "Sorry"
Charles Eden's not in "West Side Story"
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you my hard-won bacon
And I've been wrung, I've been brown
Into the bottom of every brothel
These five worms in my head scream
"Are we having Funyuns?"

It's not like you're hittin' nose fat
I said, "I love you but you smell like mildew"
And it must have been a slow bat
'Cause seven whiffs, they like to damn-near killed you

(chorus)

(chorus 2)

"Die Hard 2" "Toy Story"
Wolves eatin' as I drink my forty
This time out is stinkin'
For Kevin "You're a Hard-on" Bacon
And I bit Ron, I've fit clowns
Into the bottom of beverage bottles
These fine furs in my head
Scream "Are we having fudge, man?"

Well, of course, these aren't the lyrics. But this site did a good job reprinting them.

Bullish hsit!1

Oh dear! Oh curses! Buggery! And so forth! For I have still failed to grab any sort of accomodation place at JMU. Even though I sent my accomodation stuff ages ago, I never recieved any word. I could go from home, but that would be pretty expensive. The only place available is near 'some school'. Bloody Nora. I went around Liverpool today so uninspired, I merely drifted. No innovation. No future thoughts. Hell, no thoughts for Friday, let alone the future. I was emptied.

Abnormal Behaviour? Hey, it's just me

As it's taken a short while(but a while nevertheless), I've noticed that yes, I do act relatively abnormally in the public. Not really abnormally, not the kind that puts people off, but just differently. If a child expects a smile, I'll give them a smile they won't forget. And possibly send them crying for it, but no other would suspect. I cycle a lot, which can involve dodging and diving in between crowds of people, in a weird but fluent fashion. And today, I ran up stairs carrying a bicycle on my shoulders, which obtained some varying looks, including gasps of awe in spite of my 'prowess'(merely something that few other people actually do), others staring at me like I'm some sort of 'weirdo'. Hey, it's me, it's me, not DDP.