What a mouthful!

Sega + Nintendo = Insane
WWF + WCW = Insane
Capcom + SNK = Insane

See how things have changed in one year? Right now, these companies are the best of chums (although WWF + WCW are owned by the same guy now), so I wouldn't be surprised if I saw Burger King + McDonalds or Pepsi + Coca-Cola. It will happen, all in due time. Oh yes. Either that or all companies will go under through some 'Wall Street Crash II'.

F-F-F

Animal Survey

Similarly to solid_ichelma, I'm apparently a Mountain Goat. Or a Swan. Possibly a Sheep. That'd be a bit of a freaky animal.

Nein!

Being one of the very few German words I know, other than Zwei and the other numbers up to 5 which I can't spell, I thought Rammstein would never be the band for me. I want one of their albums now! After hearing 'Du Hast' I need a job to support this lack of album-spree. If that made sense. 'Somme' isn't a bad song either. Haven't the faintest idea what the words mean, it's just the tunes that sound so good.

T-M-W-R-N-J!

This Morning With Richard, Not Judy is missed. This programme has Stuart Lee and Richard Herring doing hilarious morning television without the usage of foul language. It gave birth to so many great things, including 'The Curious Orange', who always asked an intelligent question but eventually started squealing as he couldn't except the fact he was an orange. He was eventually murdered (juiced) and replaced with 'The curious Alien', which was a really bad puppet of the Alien from the film of the same name. The first episode it was in it popped out of Richard Herring's stomach (he didn't die).

It also had a section of 'When Insects Attack'; a complete rip on anything similar to what the US produces. The second series carried on this hilarity with 'When things get knocked, spilled or fall over'.'King of the Show' is where a person who meets certain random requirements gets to be 'King of the Show', whether they're the oldest or the hairiest, they get to fulfil some sort of dream.'Histor's Eye' was something that had a go at educational programming on kids' TV stations. They would travel into the past to see things like Royalty and The Beatles. It rocked.

Nostradamus, who was obviously played by a woman, gave predictions of what would happen in the next week. If s/he got most of the them right, i.e 2/3 she would win the barbeque set. Richard constantly said 'I'd love you if you weren't a man'. The best section, however, had to be 'Extra Final Scene', where an Extra Final scene was added to a movie. Here's one for 'Planet of the Apes':

The main guy is played by Richard Herring. He sees The Statue of Liberty and says 'Damn you; Damn you all to hell!'. In the extra final scene, he says 'Wait a minute. That's just coincidence'. He then sees another monument and says 'It could happen' and keeps walking. Finally, he walks past some monkeys (not noticing them) and they're playing a song which says 'This is Planet Earth.' End.

Apparently, the show managed to hit the 1,000,000 viewers mark occasionally, but was constantly shifted around the schedule because Greg Dyke (Director of BBC) didn't like them. The excuse 'The show will be moved AGAIN to give other Sunday morning programmes a chance'. Richard Herring always gave the show a nice positive feeling. It was canned due to Greg Dyke's personal preference. Bastard.

M'brain can't be bothered

For the 'Sunday Night Channel 4 Film' I always must watch 'Rex the Runt', which is conveniently placed RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of Channel 4 showing their film. For 'The Usual Suspects', 'Alien Resurrection', 'Jackie Brown' (although I couldn't be bothered watching it after 1 hour) and 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' (probably the best name for any film). Of course, Rex the Runt cannot disappoint because it crams all it's goodness into 10 minutes. Like the Magnifi-shed.

The film in question, 'Lock, Stock...' was a fine film. Set in East End London (I think) with everything so dodgy you find about Eastenders. Involving some gangs that are somehow related to each other, the film is revolved around members of these gangs in some heists. Unintentionally funny. It features 'Hard (Welsh) Man' Vinny Jones and cockney wankah Dustin Diamond. Watch.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Or the chair

I managed to keep £20 from somewhere, so now it must be spent on something that I so rarely get. A CD? A DVD? A very cheap and excellent game? Or a pair o' pants? Decisions. The £20 will probably be nabbed by Ray, 'because he needs it'. Wimp.

Take a look

Geek Test

I AM 44% GEEK.


I probably work in computers, or a history
deptartment at a college. I never really
fit in with the "normal" crowd. But I have
friends, and this is a good thing.

Take the GEEK Test at Fuali.com!

Look at this one!

Punk Test

I AM 16% PUNK.


It's not a fashion craze, or even a cool thing
to do. I should just swallow it, get Lost, and take my friends
with me.

Take the PUNK/POSER Test at Fuali.com!

Punk? Moi? Get out! I'm far too clean.

Professor Monkey-for-a-Head

For some absolutely odd reason, I watch Saturday morning cartoons (if I can get up that early - 7:00AM?) and the only ones on are Disney cartoons and Powerpuff Girls. I found House of Mouse (nickname for Disney. Barely ironic) and it was only slightly compelling. To see Hercules and Aladdin fighting over keeping a conscience (Jimminy Cricket - he decided he had enough with Pinnochio) is great.

And Cannabis makes you have messed up sex life? Can't blame me!

Orangina Art

Here's some original art:
It's a shirt.

Hello? Television?

Damn you TV again... King of the Hill on 10:20AM every day next week - when I'm in college. X-Men Evolution on at 8:55AM as well - why does Television think it's funny to mock?

He certainly is 'the whole F'n show...'

My first pic on the site. In case you didn't know, this is Mr. Vince McMahon, the WWF and WCW owner. Look at him! He's doin' the RVD taunt! He screwed Bret Hart.

Why I autta...

Bleep! Bloop! It's not on! That new Vodafone ad with the Dandy Warhols song on it. I say it's a good song now, but my mind is going to be changed after everything ever will constantly play it. When the single didn't first get into the Top 40 (it's a re-release), it was put on some 'phone ad and the band admitted to selling out. I've still got to wait two weeks for the release; give me '(Drawing) Rings around the World' any day!

I need to play two songs simultaneously: NIN's 'Happiness in Slavery' and remix. I'll keep on thinkin'. I need to finish my UCAS form pretty soon. Eep.

Rex the Runt, Rex the Runt, he's back for a Doggy Dialogue. Rex the Runt, Rex the Runt, the wobbily bobbily dribbily squiggly dog!

You know what I'm talking about. Rex the Runt! In Sunday's episode, our heroes got abducted by aliens searching the Earth for all the Gordon's:
Alien: We've decided to abduct all aliens in this novelty flying greenhouse!
Rex: But I'm not Gordon. I'm Rex.
Wendy: I'm Wendy, and this is Bob. And that's-
Vince: Trousers!
Alien: Silence, Runt! You are Gordon!
Wendy: But we're telling the truth! Those were our real names!
Alien: Even Trousers?
Rex: He's Vince.

Bratchy Scrolics

Guffaw, chortle, wheeze - my sister wanted to do a Powerpuff Girls thing for her textiles class; like some sort of pillow. Turns out she can't do it for copyright reasons - regardless of people like Craig McCracken not giving a toss (guy who the Powerpuff Girls idea is). She's doing a frog; one of the characters she got is from 'Smashball' on the SNES. No-one'll notice. Will they?

Cursed TV

D'oh! Saturday night TV used to be so bad. Here's the line-up for Saturday:
BBC1: Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) - great 'thing' (I'm not sure what category it is) with Vic Reeves 'n' Bob Mortimer
BBC2: I love 1990s (1997) - Admittedly not great because there are no cartoons put on it, just hyped crap (like Teletubbies)
ITV: Frank Skinner Show - great comedy sketches from half of Baddiel & Skinner. Baddiel is one half of Newman & Baddiel. Then 'The Naked Gun'
Channel 4: Top ten - Sci-Fi - Features the likes of Red Dwarf and other greats with cult-like followings

And they'll all on from 9:00PM. At the same time. I don't have Satellite either! Powerpuff girls (or 'Whoopass Girls', original name) is on next week 9:30 AM every day (d'oh) and C4 are finally showing South Park again with episode 'Trapper Keeper'. Great.

And that - was a saaaaaaad day - for Ms. Vaness Feltz

Annoying week:
-Æon Flux video may not be watchable again without it snapping
-Dreamcast - ultimately dead
-No word from Tesco, Sainsbury's or Marks 'n' Spencers regarding a possible job. Ever
-Missed SFA gig
-Gettin' bored
-Owed a lot by older faggot of a brother
-Digitiser has some guy doing and is not barely funny

Harry Hill: why go to ITV?

I got GONARIA? (Not really)

Man, I started watching Seinfeld for the first time ever the other day. What a program! It's the most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time. BBC - to shame with you once more. I can't believe there's no more episodes being made! That can be a good thing though, as things like Friends, which has gone past the 100 episode mark, has become a nothing. It's valueless (although I never actually liked it).

Quote: 'If you don't shut up, I'm gonna genetically modify your testicles.' (Doctor Dog (Paul Merton), Rex the Runt).

Y'know, I've learned something today

I learned three things to help you through life.

1) Consider others! If you are in a situation of unknowingness, try to consider the feelings, reasons, beliefs etc. about the other person.Try that for everyone you'd like to care about in some way.
2) Think of the consequences! Think of all possible consequences of the action you will take/ are taking. The effects could be outstandingly huge or possibly minute, but anything's possible. Example: some art examiner could have been pissed off by some kid, thus not letting Adolf Hitler into art university and thus making him start war. This 'kid' could've decided to throw rock at man's head. See?
3)Do a flip! As Bender from Futurama said to Hermes on the brink of death, doing a flip impresses anyone. If wrestlers and gymnasts can woo crowds, so can you! Even if you break your neck. Maybe not.

That'll do. I'm considering doing a blog in a story form, i.e a chapter a month. With me in it.

He shoots, he misses

On a venture into The Playhouse today, I see probably the only copy of Chrono Trigger out there. A US version for £80. £80? Bleed-me-dry! What on earth kind of price is that? Not that I even have £5 to be bled. You know I'm unemployed.

Of course, frivolous fun was to be had on Dave Mirra's BMX game on the PS2. It's so much fun to pull off a 540-piss-off-dad underbelly hilarious outake monkey steals the drum cartwheel o' doom! It's also far more fun to be nobbled in this as it's more realistic. Hee.

Alright, for those of you who don't know, Chrono Trigger was a game of some sort of pinnacle of it's time when it was released. It focused on the concept of time travel, with various periods to travel to in attempts to save the world. Doing stuff in the past will affect the future events yadda yadda, but the idea worked very well and produced the most amazing place I have ever seen in video game land - some sort of floating islands that where held up by magic. Everyone on this island was gifted/enlightened in certain ways so they were of very high accolade. 'Tis great.

And Dave Mirra is probably some famous BMX-er that I don't really care about, sadly.

Imperial Leather

There's something about these cartoons that Mr. solid_ichelma is doing. It's the cartoons thing. Rude Dog? Alvin & the Chipmunks? Personal opinion may come into play here, but isn't there any better cartoons? I'd be doing things like that if I had my own computer (rather than having to share it with 5 others).

Blast off!

The manager of Ormskirk Safeway is called Andy Savage

Awful day on Wednesday. I, in the truth of English Language, went to get some examples of e-mails, including spam mail. The wrong type of spam mail is my problem - I used the '18+ Only!!!!!' which contained (obviously) offensive language. Teacher saw it. Got me banned from network, regardless of protests. Thank God my English teachers are nice and made it seem like 'ill-educated' outside world wouldn't understand it. I 'wrote' an 'apology' (it wasn't me, it was my teacher (!) and it wasn't really an apology) so I'm now allowed back on the terminals.

Oh yes, many teachers know about this incident and something may change because of me. Curses. To be ridiculed by fellow students is one thing; by teachers is another! Curse you, Andy Campbell!

Tough Decision

Here's a tough question: what would you rather have - the internet, or Sky TV?

The internet offers many things, from pointless trivia, 'how-to-do' and porn, all at your own pace. You can look up information about certain products you were uncertain of buying straight away and it is easier to buy items abroad. You can communicate with others in interesting ways and do other things you know you can do on the 'net. There is the problem of pricing though, where you must pay large amounts to constantly go on. And that's for crappy 56K modems!

SkyTV offers plenty o' channels to whet your appetite - the likelihood is that you can find any on at the time of watching. You get to watch anything you'd want (usually) due to the fact that there are many repeats. Of course, there is the problem that you will lose social interest if you get hooked and you become lazy.

I can't decide!