Cartoon Guide

Rather than put pictures up that don't work, I'll just write stuff. Yes, it's a royal rip-off off solid_ichelma's thing, but there are so many cartoons he couldn't possibly do 'em all. This day: Samurai Pizza Cats.

I never actually realised it was a parody on the Turtles, but it still rocked arse. In the days when ITV was a good channel, it showed this anime mid-Sunday, as far as I can remember. Like Hong Kong Phooey, they had crappy day jobs to cover up their real guises. I find that there were 3 cats. There was also another team, a rescue squad; they are General Catton, Bat Cat, Spritz and Meowzma, respectively representing Fire, Air, Water and Earth. When evil actually arose, they got shot out of a cannon.

The Main characters in it were Polly Ester (snigger), Speedy Cerviche and Guido Anchovies, whom was my fave. Francine worked in the restaurant with them and announced the missions to be overcome. Enemies included Ninja Crows, who were the common enemy for our heroes. Also a trio. They are rivals, were each crow is a rival of each cat. Isn't that surprising?

I tell ya, if you're a super-hero always get a day-job. At least they've got the finances sorted. How did the Turtles survive? Anyway, I award this fine cartoon a 9/10.

Here's the lyrics for the title:

Would somebody please cue that bird?
Samurai Pizza Cats...
Oooh yeah!
Who do you call when you want some pepperoni?
Samurai Pizza Cats...
[Speedy Cerviche: Right on!]
They're stepping out crime, and you know that ain't balony

There's Speedy Cerviche,
he's the leader of the bunch
[That's right!]
A heck of a fighter
makes a heck of a lunch.

And little Polly Esther
who's never afraid
[Polly Esther: That's me!]
of going into battle
when the bad guys invade.

Here's Guido Anchovis
a wild romantic rover.
This cat gets down down
with a love hangover

Here come the Pizza Cats.
They're so bad.
They've got more fur than any turtle ever had!

They're stronger than old cheese...
[Stronger than old cheese.]
Stronger than dirt...
[Stronger than dirt.]
Step on their tails...
[Get off my tail!]
And you're gonna get hurt...
[Don't hurt me!]
Samurai Pizza Cats...
They're fighting crime
All over town!

Four... Three... Two... One...
The Pizza Cats are on the run!

The Big Cheese is the villain,
who's lower than low.
It's a rotten shame
he lives in Little Tokyo.
We've got a nasty Bad Bird
and some nasty Ninja Crowes.
As soon as someone finds the script
we might begin the show.
Sit back and rest your feet
and turn the sound up high.
And if you want the full effects
go eat a pizza pie!
Hahaha!

Thanks to the website samurai pizza cats, although it was last updated in 1995, so they won't really care about plagiarism. I hope.

Poem of sorts.

From Adam Buxton. Charming.

What's the problem yellow robot?
Why are you obsessed
With being full of feelings
So you can be like all the rest
Of us
Who fuss
About the place
In various stages of disgrace
Because we can't control our fear
And drown our misery in beer
And smoke an awful lot of gear
To get away from what we feel.
D'you think it's such a rotten deal
That you can never shed a tear?
Listen, if you really want
Have my emotion chip.
But run a diagnostic first
I think it may be broken.
And my rhyming circuits are buggered and all.

Right: Hands up who likes me!

I'm gonna try and get tickets to see Space in the L2 in October. Providing that this is a particularly small venue and that the gig costs £7, I'm there! I'll try to get tickets to see Terrorvision at the L1, because that might be history. It's not Bjork in a church, but it's a good shot.

C'est difficile.

My one-handed typedness is pretty terrible, esp. as I am right-handed and I am using another hand. No, I haven't lost/damaged/ruined my right arm, it's bathing in ice-cool water. Turning warm. Anyway, I have to say that Neil Hannon (The Divine Comedy) has one of the greatest voices in music, closely followed by Trent Reznor and Gary Numan. After looking at solid_ichelma's site, it made me realise that Phantom 2040 is one great cartoon. I would like to know the artist(s) and other works.

Sacre bleu

I don't know who the evil twin is, but I'll tell you now, it certainly isn't me. Ray's on my nerves again.

Surprisingly, wrestling's fake.

Ah, conspiracies. You gotta love 'em. Mind you, if an individual, like me, believed every one of these fascinations, I would see the world being undeniably evil and never, EEEEEVER, believe anything again. Shucks. I'm now at the point of making up results for the Stroop Effect of my Psychology study, because it's too hard to find anyone. Either that, or I'm lazy.

Shogun mastery derives from the blade(?)

Great idea that. When on the internet, you could be a little more adventurous then going to bored.com to get a website to prevent boredom. Try typing in any old word, from the dictionary, with the 'www.' and '.com'. Undoubtably, cheese.com is the greatest - it is a website all about cheese! Them crazy internet folk. It seems nambla.com isn't quite what I would've wanted. Try these words:

ambulance
armadillo
banana
carp
dramatic
earache
freezing
grapevine
and so on. Make something up.

Somebody gettin' itchy today

WHY OH WHY was 'The Simpsons' actually in the top 100 children's programmes, let alone no.1? Any programmes with drugs references aren't exactly necessary for kids. Also, it's one of the only cartoons in Europe/USA to be classified as an 'everybody' cartoon. This idea comes from the fact that most cartoons are shunned because they appear only suitable for kids, or just for kids because they are drawn. Blow me.

My, my, what an ill behaviour youngun's'll show t'day

I went into Forbidden Planet today, again, looking at stuff about Bruce Lee. What rigorous training! What strength! Whaddaguy! I also became fascinated by a book on Jeet Kune Dao (or however it's spelt) and thought that, yes, I will get it. Monday.

Turns out the one-inch punch is slighty different to what I believed. I thought it involved a straight hand being lent on a person, fingertips pointing, then change into a punch. I is really a fist resting on the opponent, with the knuckles lifted off. With some clever hip movement, Bruce Lee (120 lbs) manages to push a 190lbs guy 6ft into a chair. Woah.

Garbin'

'Nother lyrics thing:

6-year itch came back today
I had thought about wasting away
Never mind
That's a simple solution for foolish people
People who can't think about tomorrow
It's sadly true
This itch is an obvious burden
Can I blame it?
Well I'll wait and see again

Never mind
I wasn't worth much
I knew it
No glamourising from some media
Goddamnit
No, I am someone not waiting to fall to a system
Caught out by some guy waiting for hellend
I won't take me
Someone else will
And he'll be pretty sorry.

Even more cheesed off

Right, my nan said she would sleep over next week 'cause of my stupid older brother playing crappy dance really loud. Great. And my stupid little cousin who constantly takes our food supplies - fat little piggy. 'Great'. How irritating. Anyway, I tried out our wrestling matress' today - I'm doin' that flippy move that RVD does (roly-poly thing followed by a flip)! The moonsault is very hard to pull off because my neck was hurt somehow.

I'm cheesed off

As probably expected, I'm getting quite cheesed off at Ray. Rather than bitch about his faults (and thus, bitch about mine), I know this probably happens with everyone living with someone. One of the many disadvantages of being a twin, as well as not using certain insults like 'fucked your ma'.

Metal Mickey probably sucked

My last blog just disappeared, according to me. My points are valid. To me. Anyway, I've really got to stop being influenced by films quite so much. When seeing 'The Matrix', I got the obvious impression that martial arts is an art, used in some way to confuse and outwit your opponent. However 'Fight Club' gave me the idea that fighting is merely brutal, because most people try the quickest effort in fighting. It wasn't great taking Unbreakable back to the Video Shop; I had no awareness of danger when cycling back, that could've been something.

The deleted article No longer deleted.

I have some sort of problem with choosing a fighting style. See, I see martial arts as an art. By choosing things like Karate, people are choosing to learn an art created by some. This is like copying a style of Picasso in a way - certain unoriginal aspects in the terms that you're learning what many others know. If your opponent knows your fighting style better than you, you're screwed. If you pull out something completely mastered by yourself and only yourself, than your chances of success are better. I see using your own style very helpful, because these fighting styles are arts - you are technically an original artist, which deserves commendation. It doesn't mean I don't want to learn these arts, of course...

The Masterflan

Hone my cooking skills. 'What skills?' I probably hear some person shout. Good question. Well, since I'm pretty much home alone, aside from Ray and Graeme and all his mates - actually, fuck that, I'm using my matress' of old to try out wrestling moves. I convinced m'dad to keep 'em by saying 'Mum wants them' and 'Visitors'll need em'. Great work. Now to throw the rest of my room in the attic. Anyway, I will attempt to create some excellent songs for the palate. Maybe.

On a different note, I will watch more great films. Like Fight Club. What a film that is! Soon, I'm going to be watching 'Three Kings' - I hope it cooks ass! I'll get on undoing those Ds I got as soon as possible. I will accomplish, regardless of still not working out my true ambition.

A C and a D and a D and an E

I will undo those D's and make them into C's in January. I got an E in computing; nuts to that lesson! Anyway, I might be getting a job on some farm for two weeks, so I will get some money for once.

My heavens!

Woah! A few things to do tomorrow. Get AS-level results (hoping for an A and a B and a C at least), give application form into Currys (now I think of it, who gave it THAT name?), do some Psychology work (I'll end up forgetting) and go home, re-do CV quickly and hand it into some shop (forgot which one).

My concern of the moment is my choices. I chose not to go to Turkey for a holiday, regardless of never being abroad and not even having a holiday this year. Maybe I'm too picky for my status of not being able to afford to go out of Europe (not including the middle-east; how messed up!). Well, one week in the house won't be so bad because of my radical idea - I'm getting new matress' on Friday - yes! I can practice wrestling moves on the old ones! I will do the 'Senton Bomb' by the end of the holidays. No, no, no - the 'Five-Star Frogsplash'! No! The 'Shooting Star Press'! And a moonsault.

Pitiful.

I still haven't done any of my Psychology coursework. For crying out loud, I think I'll do stuff on the A-Level collection day. I'll ask someone crying their eyes out over what they failed in. What if I fail? That could be a positive move, 'cause this stupid AS-Level thing is still misunderstood by myself. Either that or I haven't been educated well enough. Eckle-f'tang.

Uuuugh

Right, the new album by The Offspring is no different to the rest. I like it. Man, I found Ixnae on the Hombre better. Still stupid.

The Good Book is Bad

Let's face it, the Bible is broken. How can we justify taking any of it seriously? Especially after Dogma? Aye, aye, aye. Anyway, I just have to question the phrase 'It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven. A little stupid, don't'cha think? I mean, what if the world was communist and all wealth was equally distributed? What if the rich people perform the most evil actions? What if the rich person manages to make everyone rich? What if you are rich in your own eyes, but poor in others? Why so many conundrums? Such stupidity should be thought about before being made up, for crying out loud.

Good idea, bad idea

Today, I picked up an application form for the cinema today. Fat chance of getting a job there, but if the opportunity is actually answered to, then I have a solution to an inevitable problem.

Some cinema guy: 'Oh no, for our profits are absolutely no match for the rest of the town. Whatever will we do?'
Myself: 'Well, it's clearly obvious we're being beaten in the market place by the new cinema on the ocean front. What we need is some sort of Art cinema. One that'll show films by request/demand for a snippet of the real cinema price, say £2. We call it an 'Art Cinema' and probably proclaim Southport some Art capital of the world or something. We could do something similar to the Cannes Film Festival, but on a much smaller level.'
Another cinema guy: 'Isn't that just a complete rip-off of the Floral Hall thing?'
Myself: 'Sort of. But who the hell cares? This place is more accessable and more varied. Plus, everyone'll forget about the other place and go here.'
Chief leader guy: 'Great idea guy! Have my job!'

Or maybe not, because the chances of a job are low. Worth a try. Anything is. If Laura's boyfriend (or ex, I dunno) can get a job there, then I can!

Justice is served on a hot plate with potato waffles

It has to be said - Eric Cartman is the most evil character in any cartoon ever. Having recently recieved the rest of Series 4 on VCD (and some of series 5), Eric does the most evil and stupid things EVER. He has no heart.

On another note, what has George Lucas done? I've heard of stupidity, but 'Battle of the Clones' is a little too... stupid! I mean, 'Surf Nazis must die' sounds bad, but this is Star Wars! It probably reminds me of the episode of the Simpsons, 'The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show', where Comic Book Guy says 'I assure you, I was online moments after the episode aired to describe my disgust'. It's not quite on the same level, though.

Ineedajob.

It's not how you play the game, it's how you win it

Y'know, I must stop these 'Beastie Boys' titles before some guy sues me. Anyway, I must explain 'The incredible journey to see Shrek', as it required some time. I spent more time journeying. Here:

At 12PM, I went to my downstairs toilet to try to put in a contact lens in my right eye. I don't really need it, I already have one in my left eye. I wasn't taught how to apply to the right eye lens. It took me half an hour to put it in. When I finally got it to stick to the eye, it felt like it was burning; I put my back to the wall and expressed pain. It was alright after 5 minutes. What an effort.

Anyway, after a lift into town, I express my anger to Ray about 'The stupid person singing stupid pop' in town, I make way to the bus stop by the train station. I get the bus after a few enthralling rounds on Outtrigger, which is fantastic. The journey nearly confused me, I thought we were going to the old country Banks. At arrival, I realised a 10-minute journey finally got me to the Switch Island. I watched the film. I don't care if it's a 'U' or if it's aimed for children; and Swordfish started half-an hour earlier. Good film. I ended up waiting 40 minutes for the damn bus. I hate the damn public transport service. Burn it. This took 5 hours!

Sorry again

I suppose my outrage aimed at Jim on the Silva 'site was to be so petty arguments and rivalries should be cast aside. I don't like it. I remember the time last year when everyone got on together, with no bands to put people into envious moods.

Idioteque

I am irritated. I see many with their Japanese blazoned t-shirts today. It is sadly a fad-thing that will die out, showing true people who actually liked the t-shirts. But what's with the sudden 'thing' towards Japanese things? OK, it started with Pokemon, but Japanese Anime has been imported (at stupid high prices) for various years. I've always wanted to start getting stuff like Porco Rosso, Yuretsi Yatsura and Guyver. But, lo and behold, my poor money-saving skills and low paid paper-delivery thing wasn't enough. A lack of job now isn't either. As well as some staggering debt my twin whinges about (£80 is staggering for someone without money!).

Of course, now it's popular. Dragonball Z rules the roost (currently) and things like Digimon, Monster Rancher and Pokemon are competing in some way.

This also raises my other point - why is comic-book collecting such a hard thing to start? I always go in looking for something that could interest me, like Spawn or Spiderman, but I just don't want to start at issue#98 or something (that's how it's written in the comic book world, people). My little brother collects comic books of 'The Simpsons', 'Futurama' and other Matt Groening related stuff. Except 'Life is Hell'. Why so hard?