Oh...

...I managed to find an original copy of the vinyl of New Order's 'Blue Monday' from 1983. Not a scratch on it. Which was nice.

Hold my horses!

I didn't choose to celebrate the New Year. It just isn't worth it. OK, you get to do things with others, but isn't it just an excuse? I'm more likely to go to some reunion thing as that has purpose. Plus, I couldn't think of anything to do.

Blaxpoitation theatre presents: Black to the Future

Well, if I'm going to look into the future, it'll be of a list of things 'to do' in life. Here we go:
- Go to the most exotic locations of England, including abandoned castles and 'Ye Olde' towns.
- Become a wrestler. Even it's not parent-approved, as I have parents who didn't go to Uni so expect all the kids to go. Plus, I can't remember the last time there where twins in the wrestling foundation that were English. So many storylines in place already...
or - become some musician. Sure, I'm still going to start this ideal, but it didn't stop David Gray flopping then coming back 10 years later. Even if he is a wanker, he's popular.
- Be an artist. 'But you're not an artist!' They scream. It didn't stop those entering the Turner Art Prize thing, did it?
- Learn a martial art that barely anyone has heard of, as well as T'ai Chi and Jeet Kune Do.
- Get a job.
- Replicate what that guy did to be part of the Manchester United Champions League Photo and the thing he did in cricket.
- Go to one of those conventions aimed at nerds, even if it makes you look silly.
- Make a film that equals the coolness of Mallrats, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Cannibal! The Musical and Wayne's World.
- Donate heaps of money to Cystic Fybrosis charity, a disease which my little brother hones and affects only 7,000 children in Britain.
- Do something incredibly great, making Jackass look like a walk.
- Have useless hobby, like making things out of matchsticks.
- Become 'a great', equalling the status only possessed by a certain 'Sir Jimmy Saville'.
- Kill one of those people that everyone would like to kill, like Osama bin Laden, or Michael Barrymore.
- Get myself involved in some incredibly dangerous science experiment, making my DNA 'super'.
- Have a large comic book collection.
- Finally, upon death, be mummified.

If at least half of these are performed, then I will do drugs.

#Lady Maradona#

Bizarre! What kind of unhumanly events lead to 'some guy' finding me on the 'net merely because of 'some cheat'? I mean, what are the odds of that? To explain:

I have a lot of old Super Play magazines. Not all, but most of 'em. Anyway, it has a section called 'Final Fantasy Forum' which contains everything hidden about FFVI on the SNES, as well as other hiddens for other Squaresoft RPGs on the SNES. One of the cheats is for Secret of Mana, proudly claiming that you can upgrade your weapons to Lv.9 with hours of boredom, by going to some castle-in-the-sky and killing baddies 'til these weapons appear.

Because of me printing this cheat on this site, I've been flooded with e-mails from random folk all over (including Spanish, Russian, Portuguese and Coventry) about verifying this code AND believing that I'm some Secret of Mana Otaku. Curses! Drat and double drat! Great Scott! etc. Maybe I should think twice before entering some other random code in. Like the one in Super Play where Kurt Cobain sent in a blood cheat for Mortal Kombat, but it was an April Fool. Or the 'naked Lara' cheat for Tomb Raider. Again, April Fool.

Somebody stop me!

New trousers

One week, various exams. Eight Seven Five to be accurate (General Studies or Communications don't really count). No preparation. I know I don't 'do' revision, but I should be slightly quaking in my boots. That's a bad thing; I'll do my work when I'm bothered. At the last minute. As per usual.

Someone old, someone blue

I know there's a PS2 in the house, now accompanied by the most excellent Bishi Bashi Special (which can have 8 players - Zoinks!), but I just had to go back to the barely reliable Dreamcast. Shenmue II still holds many, many secrets. It's an absolute beaut. Even if there's a duck which, in his own language, quacks "Let's kick some ass!" and "Watch me, ladies!" for no reason.

'They misunderestimated me'

Of all the random things that you get at Christmas, or at least what my siblings and I get, I was pleased with this year's booty. This includes a book of Darwin Awards (yeah), some book of many random puzzles and a book of George Bush Jnr.'s many stupid quotes. Like the title of this post.

Now, to start work.

Is it Chriiiiiiiiiiisssttmaaaaaass?

Note: Midnight Church thing for Christmas at 11:00pm. Lasted long enough to eat up my time for watching BASEketball. What can I say? It's all my fault for going then, not in the morn. Oh well. Merry Christmas to all. It's a real pity I'm using some of my little Christmas money to pay for retaking AS-level exams; they wanted £27 for one of my Maths ones (an exam my dad wanted my to take to get an 'A' in the subject - bugger).

But enough of that. Just get fat. If you've already become fat (eaten too much) I suggest you eat more.

For the first time in history...

I just realised that no pictures have been put up on my sight. Until now...

...my family! Since it's Christmas. For reference, from top-left clockwise: cheerful me, cheerful 'Dad', Ray, 'Mum', 'girl in other set of twins' Estelle, 'boy in other set of twins' Andrew then bearded twinless brother Graeme.

Just my luck

After months of waiting, I finally get my copy of Jet Set Radio back. Then,
I
crack
it. Damn. Damndamndamn.

In other news, it would be good enough for as many of you to watch Baseketball tonight for Christmas.

Strain on the brain

My head really hurts. To make me NOT go to the toilet so friggin' frequently, I turn the volume on my CD player to the max volume, thus taking the pain away from my stomach and transferring it to my head. Ow. Ow. Ow. I'm gonna kill my GP before he kills me.

After a trip to Liverpool yesterday, I decided to go again today. For about 2 and a half hours. Getting nothing again. I met Adrian of this band doing last minute Christmas shopping. He's going to Oxford! And I'm not!

This will only last a couple of days...

Rather than do a review of 'The Fellowship of the Ring', I'd rather note the parts where Robin added his two cents:

Gandalf saying: "This is the finest weed..."(or something similar)
-Rob:"You're damn right!"

When Gandalf blows a boat from his smoke.
-Rob: "They're seriously tripping!"

When other wizard appears.
-Rob: "He's evil..."
-Myself (haven't read the books, yet): "Shut the **** up!"

Axe-wielding dwarf-guy: "You can't beat a Dwarf!"
-Rob, indicating 'beating off' with fingers: "Damn right you can't!"

Ah, what hilarity.

Oh, come on, let's try to be brave

Faster than a speeding bus! Yes, whilst waiting for the Godforsaken bus, it drove past the stop, as it was 'full'. So what now? Well, just run! Yes, that's right. I took a shortcut through the hospital path to another bus stop. I managed to get to it, breathless, before the bus had arrived. It wasn't full! Feckin' old people get their way again. But I beat that system (I think)!

I would think that it couldn't come to this

'Oh my God! Robbie Fowler! Robbie Fowler with a chair!' This must be the future of football - wrestling-type events. Just think: Sol Campbell nets an own goal when playing against Spurs but then reveals it as some hoax that he never joined Arsenal, ripping off his Arsenal shirt for a Spurs one. American commentators as well. It'd sound hilarious. Well, how else did Liverpool lose 4-0?!? That hasn't happened for Aaages.

Get going, you're hardly worth the risk

I finally got Appleseed Book 2. What amazement! What pretty pictures (all in black and white, pitty)! What a complete and utter distraction! Yes, a fine example of distraction from some English Language talk I have to do on some piece of prose I found. On the internet. I'm still not finished; hell, I've only written 20 lines of 'stuff'. Over 8 hours. Blippin' flippin' muppin' 'eck. By this date, I'm worrying about English Language coursework, AS-Level resits, A2 exams, actually completing my UCAS form, getting some 'fancy piece of clothing' for Wednesday and last and certainly least, Christmas. Should I be doing a weblog?

Yes

Flinch and die

I cannot believe what has happened: because of my stupid little brother, I disconnected the scanner, and in the hope of easily reconnecting it, it asked me for the Windows '98 CD. Curses. It's gone - my older, twinless brother has nabbed it. Oh hell, it wasn't a good scanner anyway.

Rage against some old woman

Man, Shenmue II is fantaaaastic! I know I've rambled on about it enough, but there are good reasons - namely Outrun, Space Harrier, Afterburner and Hang On. I can clearly see why people then wasted money on these beauties - alright, my dad said 'The graphics aren't much on that', so I replyed 'This is a game within a game. Impressive, isn't it?'. Well, he didn't reply, but surely he was flabbergasted after that message. So addictive! So retro! Not easy! And probably more fun than Shenmue. What? No, not really, but they come close. Makes me wanna play Planet Harriers now.

Of course, I could imagine if Sega made a Shenmue-type affair in another 15 years time (in real world time). We'd be playing those games that weren't good enough for home conversion because of how limited they would've been, like Harley Davidson and LA Riders, or Scud Race - brilliant!

Presenting...

Well, Christmas is made slightly easier in the family, as each set of twins will 'team up' to give presents, thus halving opinions of each other. Of course, Ray still needs to get our Mum's present, but I can easily blame him if it goes wrong. Now, to get a cheap game for younger twins so I can claim it after being rejected. Hee hee.

Uuuuugh

It is, yet another, dream of sorts. I believe that, if it has not been done, with a little bit of help I would be able to launch some sort of Mature Animation website. Of course, it wouldn't really be mature (I'd want Ren & Stimpy on for one), but for an older audience. There is a difference. The channel would be filled with the kind of random stuff used on Channel 4's hotreels had shown, including anything by Adam Buxton & Joe Cornish, because they're allowed to.

On the planetary side of things, I really should start revising for the AS-Level resits, I need some combat-esque pants so Ray and I can go in on Fancy Dress day as The Dudley Boys. Can I be bothered? Probably not; so much effort for a mere day. We need to do a charity wrestling match! Gettin' desperate!

'Hey, you'se guys. You'se guys suck.'

Right, that does it: not only does the current Dreamcast have the 'half an hour to load up a game' problem, the fault that plagued the other machine has come to it. So now, it truly does have problems. I may as well buy a new one a give the current one a hate-filled burial. In Kew. Shenmue II is really good! Damn you!

Whu?

In some sort of parallel occurence to Sy, my dad came home today with a new DVD player. Without waiting for Christmas day to use it. To boot, he also got a new Video and I think he's still planning to get other gifts of electricity within the month. I can't really argue with that; so many gifts in spite of my mum getting a new job. Maybe it's too much in too short a time, but will I be happy?

#I'll be coming home next year...#

I didn't win/enter this years Turner Art Prize, but I will be back next year with a bang, oh yes. I have the opportunity to let the public sample THESE beauties...

First model Gameboy in a plastic Celebrations jar
- It's the 90s in a jar! Or what actually survived the whole period of the decade, at least. It's so immense! So complex! Such a complete lack of effort there.

A bucket of water, me and a large towel
- It's no secret that if you want to perfect the bizarre hairstyle that I don, you must be random. You get a towel, and mess the hair up until it looks 'sort of' good. In this art prize, I will use these methods OVER AND OVER to show just how random good art will be. Then I'll admit the awards are all bollocks afterwards.

More later.

Dinghy Don

Oh, man. I just had to get a bag of Pick 'n' Mix and feed it all to myself. Could I ruin my own good teeth record? I already feel bloated. No...more...sweets. It's just days after a dentist appointment as well (probably THE most used college-skipper's excuse). On another side, I need something to do for an English Lang. presentation. Swines.

The Revenge of the great leaf

Louis Theroux: you life-saver! Thank the heavens I was able to mention him in my conversation with the English Teacher about my progress in coursework when 'The Guardian' was mentioned. This somehow spiralled into how good Louis Theroux really is, as well as that he's a good friend of both Adam Boxton and Joe Cornish (picture below). The interview you pulled out wasn't bad either, although I did want to watch Stella Street more. Stupid impersonations get my vote anyday, especially if they barely look similar!

Scream!

I forgot to record the last Hot Reels! Oh, I'm an idiot.

Freakin' Children just keep staring at me
I don't know about the next Winter Games, but the issue needs to be made clear: is the whole point of Christmas PRESENTS?

I mean, for Christ's sake, and maybe God's, do we need some time in the year to get presents to keep us sane? Although we tend to 'not care' about that day before Boxing Day as we get older. Maybe because as you get older, you can actually afford those things that you always dribbled over with one weeks' paycheque? Well, not now as a student, but you could spend your waking hours when you're older just buying those things that you always wanted (even if there is better technological advancements). Of course, those concerned will say 'You're wasting your life' and you may not be socialising. Why, of course you can. Then become really fat. Die young. Get no women. There's a price to everything.

Hey, if that happens to you, don't blame me. I don't intend to do that. Exactly.

"K-O!"

What a wrestling day. First, I stupidly wake up at 3:30AM to watch Vengeance, thus watching one of the most boring matches of the night (Austin -v- Angle). However, from watching the video tape, it was a good event (and the Sunday Night Heat wasn't bad either). What next? Why, it's The Weakest Link USA Special - WWF! What hilarity to see great wrestlers be humiliated by Anne Robinson. 'Twas a bit unfair for them to vote Big Show off first though - Booker T was clearly worse.

Anyway, I must watch the Hotreels on tomorrow - or rather tape it. Music special, y'see. I couldn't care for House of Rock, though.

Noodles for me

Typical Generic American Programme No. 4,523: Stupid Behaviour Caught on tape. It's exactly the kind of crap that television produces; not the smart things, like documentaries, or Wrestling, but stupid programme. Or program. Like: 'When stunts go bad' or 'Jerry Springer'. The kind of programmes that spark loving ones (like parents) to say 'Get a life' and everything else similar.

Anyway, it just HAD to show the best/worst piece of stupidity in the history of mankind. Blowing up a whale. Hear the newsreel here.

Now, this happened in 1970, Florence, America, Earth. It involved severe stupidity that I cannot possibly produce.

Dial Emma for me

What with being a twin and not paying attention to who bought what over the years, Ray and I have quite a few posessions. And what with University coming up, we don't know who owns what. So I proposed something simple:

The Ultimate Bet! This compromises of some sort of gambling process where we bet ONCE against each other, thus gambling away all posessions we have, making it easier to clarify who owns what. I'm up for it... is he? I wouldn't think so. He doesn't even read the blog. I couldn't convince him either.

Happy Birthday, Mr President

I'm not much of a religious fellow, but I went along to 'the other twins' of the family (the non-identical ones) confirmation evening. I get bored in church sometimes, so here's what happens:
- I think about the South Park church part:
--Priest: 'Yay, let us pray the name of God.'
--Parish: 'It's a great name, isn't it?'
- Say 'Our Father, who art in Heaven, HAROLD be thy name...'
- Nudge dad, saying 'You can't sleep in church.'
- Get questioned by confused uncle (who recently came back from Austalia) after part where 'you offer peace' (shake each others hands): 'I thought we were supposed to go up to the front and sit on the guys' (Bishop) lap and get asked what we wanted for Christmas!'
What a load of old fun.

Cassandra!!

I saw 'Leon' again last night. Whadda great film it still is. However, I did not watch the Quentin Tarantino film on Monday (forget name) because I forgot. This is the third time! I didn't watch 'Jackie Brown' because I got bored after an hour and I didn't watch 'Reservoir Dogs' because I was sure the video was somewhere in the house. Oh:



Suitably suitable.

I'm begging you. Please? Surely not...


Which Evil Criminal are You?


Take the Affliction Test Today!

Gah! I should really stop with these tests. They're stupid! I'll carry on regardless.

I don't know about you, but this site is confusing me.

Genericity

Wow! Dominion is so... so... odd? Nah, it's a great piece of manga film. The storyline is pretty good, as is the 12-year-old animation (it's from 1989, not drawn by some annoying kid), although I questioned a few things:
- The noses don't have grooves or nostrils or anything
- Why do the cat girls have such an annoying accent? And why is the distinguishing thing to set apart from mere humans only their ears?
- Inappropriate features, like certain foul language that doesn't really harm anyone (referring to urine samples as piss) and some odd weapons that form the shapes of penis'.
Good film though. I'm finally catching up on all that anime and Manga that I promised I'd get when I was 14!

Lickitung

I can't believe it! Blasted Shenmue II (Disc 3) sometimes shows some stupid error message, forcing me to restart the game. Even if you can now save it anywhere. I think I should stop with the Shenmue II posts, but it's a tree-men-douse game! Stop that.

Money-Making Schematics

I kept thinking 'how the hell am I going to make money in Shenmue so easily?' when I was down to about HK$4 (Hong Kong). Gambling! Dirty money! Earn about HK$3000 per Shenmue hour this way. No need for Pawn Shops anymore, it's so easy to go to Warehouse No.10 and bet $500 for some dice game. Very nice.

Shaggy, if you don't shut the **** up, I will ****ing kill you!

Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back is one of the funniest films I have seen. OK, you should've seen the other Viewaskew films to get half the jokes, i.e:
"Say; would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel?" about 2 people laugh in the cinema. They're twins. Or even:
"Are you a tracer?" the same happens. Of course, to see so many famous people (including Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, David Boreanez, 'Dawson', Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and far more!) play minor roles lower than Jason Mewes (Jay) is great. I must not ruin the rest, but there are some great film parodies.

Gone

'Bye Mr George Harrison. As a cruel suggestion from someone, Ringo will die in a train and McCartney will die in a 'Plane, where the wings will split. If you don't understand the irony, ask.